The Ph.D Candidate

By Richard Sampson

Artwork by Alli Rowe

An Enquiry into Thread and Its Effects


Les Facer

A Dissertation

Presented to the Faculty of

The Graduate College at Empire University

In Partial Fulfillment of Requirements

For the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy

Department of Engineering

Materials Science

Under the Supervision of Professor Mary Ann Gillan

Leavenworth, Kansas, U.S.A.

May 2018


Some of it’s blue.
Some of it’s red.

Decorates cases and caskets.
Covers a bed.

Leaves you starry-eyed,
and stripped of your dignity. (Eq.1)


Eq.1   ∫    dThread / dt = Tommy + Francis + Betsy


Thread. Ball.
It makes some people kneel.
Others appalled.

Thread. Bare.
It doesn’t rust.
Looks great: i) on a poll
ii) in front of Toys “R” A Must.

                                        See “Glossary of Terms” for further clarification.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.