America’s Next Top Model

by Jelani Holloway

Artwork, “Model=Hero” by Julia Sorensen

I’m a maniacal

Swagadelic idiot

Doing all types of stupid shit

To get your kids delirious

I’m muthafuckin disastrous

So please don’t try to answer this

I’ll leave you neck deep

In a pile of burnt cannabis

I stay causing friction

With my dangerous diction

I’ll crank up the heat

And lock yo ass in the kitchen

My muthafuckin attitude

Ain’t for little kids you see

My charm will harm their little brains

And leave them fucked up like me

If you’re expecting

A clean-cut athlete

Or a young man

You can bring home to your family

Then follow me

And we’ll go around the town

Find the nigga

And run his ass down

With all this foul language

People going insane

How are we supposed to teach

Our kids how to behave

You beat the shit out of them

A centimeter from their grave

And defy the next nigga

That tries to be brave

It’s not my job

To be holistic and sane

Why should I give a fuck

About these kids and their brains

If they say what I say

Then obviously it’s apparent

That these gullible little bastards

Ain’t got no fuckin parents

So don’t tell me

That I should watch my mouth

Don’t tell me

I should help these kids out

It’s obvious

That I’m not a role model

I’m not Tyra Banks

I’m not a fuckin top model

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