by Teddy Beauregard
Artwork by Alex Cerebella
“A Woman’s Body is like a Violin,
and it takes a Terrific Musician to Play it Right.”
What a perfect load of Bullshit.
Proposal #1: All men are musically incompetent.
Proposal #2: Any man who says that he is not, is more so.
A Woman is like a Violin
in the same way
That a man is humble.
That is to say that she is not.
A Violin is an object. No? Yes.
Not All Men! Now Don’t you dare.
Addendum #1: A Violin cannot play Itself
Better than the musician could.
A Violin is not a Woman, yes? No.
I’ll learn to play the Violin
And then I’ll have a Time.
Bad little white boy.
“I figured if she was a prostitute and all,
I could get in some practice on her,
In case I ever got married or anything.”
Fuck you, good sir.
“If you want to know the truth,
I’m a virgin. I really am.”
You don’t say?
I’d have never guessed.