By Richard Sampson
Artwork by Alli Rowe
An Enquiry into Thread and Its Effects
Presented to the Faculty of
The Graduate College at Empire University
In Partial Fulfillment of Requirements
For the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy
Department of Engineering
Under the Supervision of Professor Mary Ann Gillan
Leavenworth, Kansas, U.S.A.
Some of it’s blue.
Some of it’s red.
Decorates cases and caskets.
Covers a bed.
Leaves you starry-eyed,
and stripped of your dignity. (Eq.1)
Eq.1 ∫ dThread / dt = Tommy + Francis + Betsy
It makes some people kneel.
It doesn’t rust.
Looks great: i) on a poll
ii) in front of Toys “R” A Must.
See “Glossary of Terms” for further clarification.