by Matt Nagin

Now listen here you gorgeous pretenders, marauders in the sauce.

Comrades in arms! Facebookers! Twitter-bandits! Lingering-Uberers!

Instagram-Addicts twisted in labyrinths of fear!

LISTEN you ground-beef attorneys; cowardly pollsters; hard-to-hold

fathers; wiry meth heads resembling scarecrows in the field.

LISTEN! You contortionist pigs; byzantine liberals; slimy prophets;

rejects wrapped in fanatical lies; listen to the hymn of mass delusion; listen

to the wings beating against chicken-wire; listen to the pitter-patter of DOOM.