by Matt Nagin
Now listen here you gorgeous pretenders, marauders in the sauce.
Comrades in arms! Facebookers! Twitter-bandits! Lingering-Uberers!
Instagram-Addicts twisted in labyrinths of fear!
LISTEN you ground-beef attorneys; cowardly pollsters; hard-to-hold
fathers; wiry meth heads resembling scarecrows in the field.
LISTEN! You contortionist pigs; byzantine liberals; slimy prophets;
rejects wrapped in fanatical lies; listen to the hymn of mass delusion; listen
to the wings beating against chicken-wire; listen to the pitter-patter of DOOM.