by Will Moran
Artwork, “Corporate Housing on Prima 4” by Jack Savage
“Listen guys, this is the way it is,” said the most attractive girl at the party. “It’s
either both of you or neither of you. You know the deal.”
The two guys stared nervously at each other. Neither of them had ever considered
doing anything like this before.
“Give us a second,” said one of the guys, pulling the other one to the side as he
downed the last cup of beer. “Listen, man, you have to do this for me. She’s ready to go.
All I need is your permission.”
“No way man. No way in hell. I don’t roll like that. I’m not about it,” said the
other guy, glancing nervously around the room to see if anyone had noticed the exchange
that was going on. “I told you I would be your wingman. I never agreed to do this. I want
“Look at me. We’re bros, right? Bros would do anything for each other. You have
to do this for me. If you approached me with this situation I would 100% be there for
you. Now you have to be there for me.”
“C’mon man. I would never ask another guy to do something like this with me.
Look, I bet she would let you go by yourself. Leave me out of this.”
“No, I told her we would do this, now you have to hold up your end.”
“There’s no way I’m whipping it out in front of you. That’s a level of friendship
I’m not quite ready for.”
“You told me, before the night started, that if two girls came up to you with an
offer like this you would take it, not a doubt in your mind. But now that it’s you and me
you aren’t down? What kind of game is that?”
“Every guy dreams of doing it to two girls, but no one ever thinks that it would be
them and another guy!”
“I mean this isn’t exactly what I had in mind either. You think I’d rather do this
with you than to two girls? But this is the opportunity that we’ve been given. Now it’s
time to carry out. We have to do this, man.”
“I mean we don’t have to. We could just go home, play some video games, and
forget this ever happened. Maybe we’ll get lucky some other night and it’ll be two
“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It’s not everyday someone gives you the
chance to do this.”
“Yo, I am not cool with this.”
“Just take your clothes off and go. You can keep your eyes closed the whole time.
I promise I won’t look and I promise we’ll never touch.”
The girl was impatiently tapping her foot at the other end of the table. “Are you
boys coming or not? I have other people in line waiting for the same opportunity!” She
wasn’t kidding. Behind the two guys were three more pairs of guys waiting for their shot
at the girls.
“This is it, man. Do or die. Are you in or out?”
“We won’t touch?”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
“And you won’t look?”
“Well maybe a peek…”
“Just kidding. Of course not, I won’t be looking at anyone but her and the road
ahead,” he said, snickering.
“Ok. Then let’s go before I change my mind.”
The girl, smiling as the two guys turned around, held out both hands. “I knew I
could count on you guys,” she said as each guy grabbed a hand. She spun around, still
holding their now raised hands high above her head like she was declaring the winner of
a boxing match. She skipped them outside, her hips swinging triumphantly the whole
way in anticipation of what was about to happen. The party, which had figured out what
was about to happen, cheered, as the three marched onward. Like a circus grandmaster,
the girl led the guys into the driveway, followed by a parade of partygoers that couldn’t
believe what was happening. The girl winked and began pumping up the crowd with her
arms as the drunken cheers grew louder and louder.
The two guys gingerly began removing their shirts, then their pants, then their
underpants, until they were wearing nothing but their sneakers. The party roared with
approval as the girl walked up to them, smiling from ear to ear.
“You know, you are the first guys who have ever actually followed through. Most
guys are all talk and only want two girls, but I respect the hell out of this,” she said,
kissing both of them on the cheek. “Now off you go.”
“To our losers!” she yelled to the cheering mass as the two naked guys pranced
off into the night.