Teaching You To Turn Invisible With Your Mind

by Andrew King

Artwork by Cole Passaretti

  1. Start small, you’re still learning.
  2. Bacteria and microorganisms are small.  Science says so.
  3. Alright, close your eyes.
  4. ZAP!
  5. There?  You see any?
  6. No?
  7. Congratulations!
  8. Let’s get to some harder stuff.  Still small though.
  9. Birds are small.
  10. Go find one.
  11. No, not a robin, I like those.
  12. That jay will do.
  13. Look close, closer.
  14. You closed your eyes last time?
  15. Oh, well…  Do that.
  16. ZAP!
  17. Did it work?
  18. Well, that’s a shame.
  19. Close your eyes again, not for invisible stuff, but just because.
  20. One more minute.
  21. Alright, open up.
  22. It’s gone!
  23. No, I didn’t just wait for it to fly away.  I’m your teacher.  There needs to be a mutual respect and trust or else why are we even trying.
  24. Wait,
  25. I didn’t mean it like that…
  26. You don’t have to…
  27. OK, next lesson.
  28. Making tears invisible shouldn’t be hard.
  29. Close your eyes.
  30. ZAP!
  31. There, all better?
  32. Time to move on!
  33. How about we test your powers out on a person?
  34. Pro tip:  Turning someone invisible just before they go through a door vastly increases chance of success.
  35. Alright, pick someone.
  36. Not that guy, his muscles are too big.  You don’t want to turn that much mass invisible, trust me.
  37. Also the tattoos suggest that he wouldn’t be amused.
  38. Yes, that other guy is perfect, thanks for picking him and not with the scars and shifty eyes over there.
  39. I didn’t mean anything by that.
  40. Quick!  Turn him invisible.
  41. ZAP!
  42. I must confess, that was expertly done.
  43. Wait, you’re saying that you had your eyes open?
  44. And the guy just walked into a building?
  45. That’s just preposterous.
  46. Time for your final challenge.
  47. Turning yourself invisible.
  48. Do it outside.  You’ll never know if it actually worked if people aren’t there to watch you.
  49. This street seems busy enough.
  50. Stop shivering and look composed.  You’re a dignified Invisigician.
  51. I don’t care if it’s cold, what will people think when they see floating clothes in the middle of the downtown area?
  52. OK, close your eyes this time.
  53. ZAP!
  54. Did it work?
  55. Take a peek.
  56. Shoot, close your eyes and try again, fast!
  57. ZAP!
  58. No?
  59. ZAP!
  60. No!
  61. ZAP!
  62. Shux.  Dagnabbit.
  63. Apologize to that nice woman for traumatizing her children.
  64. No!  Don’t go up to her!  Do it later when you have clothes on!
  65. Oh crud, I bet those red and blue lights are probably for you.
  66. Crunch time!  Let’s do this!
  67. ZAP!
  68. Yeah, nope.   Didn’t think so, but hey, don’t worry.  There are worse offenses than public indecency.
  69. Although once you explain what you were trying to do, they’ll probably put you away regardless.
  70. Hey, congratulations!
  71. You can now turn yourself invisible with your mind!
  72. No one’s going to see you for a long time.

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