by Noah Rawlings
Scratch scratch pen scratch everydays a waking hour every waking day waking daydream every hour scratch scratch goes the tip makes the bleeding blotchy blueblack limbs stick stick yes and smear yes the fabric brushed the elbow smudged correct it lest it messed it up there that’s better now; pause to dip mustn’t slip every hour waking hour day slips away mustn’t shirk dull work necessary work not necessarily dull just dulling the pencil perpetual on paper perhaps that’s what’s meant by dull work dutifully dulling work mustn’t shirk mustn’t slip slip slip away each character figure shape one page it’s there one page it stares white and empty and asking for a replication of what’s there on the other Hey! what’s there put it Here! okay don’t mind if I do it.
The nutty old monk stopped and stretched and shifted his yawn and wondered but not to excess.
He adjusted the candle light.
Couldn’t make head or tale of these funny little characters animal characters with heads tales poured lovingly on the page before him; yes, lovingly carefully composed though who’s to say if careful composition is the same thing as love; for example: did he love the own variety of careful composition he was doing now or was he just carefully composing, Hatefully, carefully? “Do you care to hate?” “I care for you,” for example, “I care about hating,” “I care about not loving you,” “I take care to hate,” “I take care to hatefully compose carefully,” “I haven’t a care in the
World is spinning world is slipping a day away at a rate of a day per day every waking hour pen is sticking slipping wonder what for wonder who for wonder why for because I ought to I thought to write you’d have to read but no heedlessly the pen plows the page what does that one there mean? It’s especially nice with its branches splintering out blooming appendages each limb smaller and subtler and more intricate than the one from which it sprung but also more trying to see but I can concentrate on seeing it because the meaning it of because I can’t gather ought only draw the physical representation of the meaning on the receptacle for the physical representation of the mental meaning.
A better language a harder language a fake language did the person who wrote that there in the language did they read it or did they copy like I now do I know that I don’t know it but someone knows it someone ought to if I’m doing this right now I’m doing it I was doing it before I’ll be doing it later I’m working on this project but I don’t know what for does a bridge builder know who’ll cross his bridge no but why does he do it a bridge builder understands his bridge though the healer makes a cure who’s it for he doesn’t know but he knows that it’ll heal he knows how he made it he knows what it does I have this book here I make a new book there I understand neither book I write the one book and look at the other book all the same all the same slips away every day after day every hour waking